


Asshole

by DestinationDarkness



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Rejection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-24
Updated: 2013-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-16 01:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestinationDarkness/pseuds/DestinationDarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam mans up after a bad decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Asshole

**Author's Note:**

> Not my best work, but it was written a year or so ago, as a self-medicating thing. Beta:ed by the lovely @libra_fietje

He was soaking wet. The rain had been pouring down without any mercy, sinking into every little pore of his clothes and body. He was shaking, it was pretty cold after all and judging by how soaked he actually was he must have stood there for what felt like an eternity. His mind was somewhere else though, not reflecting over the fact that he was starting to grind his teeth.

Why was he here again? Standing a couple of meters outside Tommy’s door, just staring at it, as if it would attack him any second. He’d convinced himself that once he actually was here he would have the courage to do it; to talk to Tommy. Instead, he’d stood outside his apartment for hours. It was dark by now, especially since the heavy, dark rain clouds were blocking the moon. Sighing, he took a small step forward. One step at the time, right? He stopped again, swallowing down hard. He didn’t have the right to be here, to invade Tommy’s life. He’d crushed him, broken his heart. Tommy had let his feelings out, told Adam that he liked him. And Adam, the stupid fucking shit head he was, had dismissed it as Tommy just experimenting. Tommy had stormed off and not talked to him since.

That was over two months ago.

The tour was over. That night Tommy had told him had been after their last show and Adam was pretty sure he hadn’t smiled since. He should be happy, he’d just came off his first WORLD tour. It had been a dream come true, touring the world. But instead of being happy, he’d been depressed. Depressed over his fucking head with no one to blame for except himself.

He took another small step towards the door.

Why did he do this though? Tommy most certainly must have moved on by now. Tommy was strong, he kept his demons hidden far from any fan. Adam smiled sadly at the memory. He’d seen the fans trying to analyze Tommy’s behavior and words on tour, tried to understand him. They had no clue, really. Tommy dealt with so much more than anyone could know. He was so strong and no one fucking knew. Of course he would be over Adam.

Yet, he took another step.

Then why the fuck was he doing this? He knew the answer, but he refused to even think it. He’d already crushed Tommy’s poor heart to pieces, there was no way Tommy would forgive him and even still like him. The fact that they hadn’t fucking talked to each other for two months proved him right. Tommy most certainly hated him. 

Just as he was about to knock on the door, he heard steps coming from behind. Fast and silently, he moved away into the shadows of the trees nearby, invincible for anyone unless you stood really close. He held his breath as a short, petite man walked right pass him, slowly and trembling. Oh fuck. Even in the darkness and despite the pouring rain, he could see that Tommy mere a shadow of himself; he had lost a lot of weight and looked ill. He’d always been skinny, but not like that. The makeup he obviously had been wearing had ran over his face, leaving sad shadows over his perfect skin. Adam felt his stomach turning into a tight knot as Tommy didn’t even bother to open the door just yet; instead, he leaned against it and breathed out heavy. He wasn’t drunk, Adam knew him well enough to spot that. Without even thinking, he closed the few steps to the door and wrapped his strong arms around his bassist from behind, nuzzling his nose into his hair.

Tommy’s first thought was just to fight, someone was either trying to rape him or kill him, or possibly both. Before he even had time to react though, he was hit by the smell of familiar cologne. It was distant, as if it was partly washed away, but his brain remembered it far too well. He went completely blank, moving Adam’s arms away just enough to turn around and crushing his face against his chest. He couldn’t even control himself as the tears just came and he cried his fucking heart out, standing outside his door in a rain storm. 

He didn’t even remember Adam getting out his keys, opening the door, getting them into the apartment and getting them both to the bedroom. He only realized suddenly that he was lying down, and that whatever was underneath his body was soft. The things he did remember though, was everything Adam did. The movements of his chest, the hint of a ‘fuck’ as the key wouldn’t do what it was supposed to do, strong arms pulling and guiding Tommy around. For the first time, he opened his eyes and looked up, only to be met by those gorgeous blue eyes. They were filled with worry and sadness, but also with caring and something that looked very much like love. 

Tommy brushed it off, wouldn’t let himself be put down like that again. Fuck you, Lambert! Adam raised his chin with his hand though, making him look up into his eyes again.

“Tommy, I know I’m a complete fucking asshole, and you should probably hate me, but I want you to know that I’ve realized that I never wanna be apart from you like this. In fact, I don’t want to be apart from you at all. I… I uh… I want to be with you. For real,” he whispered, his voice soft and silent, but filled with more emotion than even when he sang. Tommy felt like someone poured a fucking can of ice cold water over him, and at the same time his insides felt all warm and fuzzy. He took a shaky breath until hitting Adam in the chest, not nearly enough to actually hurt him, but still hard enough to get the message across.

“Damn right you are an asshole! A complete fucking idiot even! Don’t you fucking dare even thinking of leaving me again,” he hissed, but couldn’t keep from giggling as Adam laughed softly, clearly relieved and almost ended up crushing Tommy in his arms. 

“A-Adam, can’t breathe,” he managed to get out, and immediately Adam’s grip softened a bit. 

“I won’t fucking leave this bed for the rest of my life if that’s what it takes to be with you, Tommy,” be purred softly, making Tommy shiver. 

“You have so much fucking talking and singing to do, Lambert. I haven’t been able to even listen to your voice.”

Adam smiled albeit sadly for a second, before moving in closer and almost grinning slightly. “Tommy, baby, there’s a lot more this mouth can do…”


End file.
